Michael Rylander

I’m taken with the charming hand-made feel of this music video from Lorenzo Papace. 

Spanish artist Lorenzo Duran is a master at turning yard waste into fine art. He uses a very sharp scalpel and the paper-cutting techniques of Chinese and Japanese artists to create these stunning pieces. 

Seems the design elves over at musical legend Dunlop have been busy. Lately, we’ve seen a rebrand of the iconic Cry Baby guitar pedal. And now they’ve taken a fresh look at their plectrum packing. 

Toward the end of the Triassic Period, copywriter Tom Witt and I worked for advertising legend Ken Segall. First on the NeXT computer account and then later for Apple. Little did we know that whenever Ken stopped talking and got that twinkle in his eye, he was actually in the process of storing memories of Steve Jobs.

Fast forward to 2012 and now Ken has just published his first tome on the subject: Insanely Simple: The Obsession That Drives Apple’s Success. A book that takes you inside Steve Jobs’s world to show you how he enforced the rules of Simplicity — sometimes with humor, sometimes with brutality, but always with amazing success. I was honored to help with the design and editing, and I can say in all honesty, it’s a fascinating read. More info and links to the ebook version here.

I recently teamed up with friend and multi-talented human being Tom Corwin to reimagine the Boy Scouts. Sure, the venerable institution has 102 years on us, but we’ve got Joie de vivre. If we ever get the club up and running, rest assured there will be less rigid badge earning and more spontaneous fun and discovery.

As and good dietician will tell you, it’s all about portion control. Tel Aviv-based artist Shay Aaron has taken that wisdom to heart and created a series of miniature food sculptures. These microscopically-delicious comestibles are 1:12 scale and though they may look edible, they are not. For wearable foodstuffs, check out Aaron’s jewelry shop at Etsy. (via flavorwire)

Sweet book case design by Italian furniture and interior design company Saporiti. 

Yosemite? A bit over-rated. Grand Canyon? No thanks, and please pass the Cabernet. With an interior worthy of gracing modern architecture magazines, I’m not sure I would to stray much further than to hook up the power to the built-in Wi-Fi. The design is by Christopher Deam, a San Francisco architect who has been helping Airstream with its interior design for the past 13 years. 

Detroit based photographer Nicola Kuperus with some magnificant pulp-fiction images.

Cupertino, CA — To Apple, there is no problem good design can’t fix. And that includes the U.S. economy.

Speaking before the House Committee on Financial Services yesterday, Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled Apple’s fix for our battered economy: flashy new currency designed to stimulate spending.

“Two hundred years of butt-ugly, monochrome currency is enough to drive any economy into the toilet,” said Cook. “It’s a miracle we lasted as long as we did.”

The new currency, called AppleBucks, will change the way we look at money. Each denomination is easily recognized by its distinct color.

The image of Apple founder Steve Jobs will appear on every denomination, eliminating the current arbitrary sequence of dead presidents.

“It’s really just an interface issue,” said Cook. “People take comfort in consistency.”

But how exactly will the new bills stimulate the economy?

“Apple-designed currency takes spending to a new level,” said Cook. “For the first time, people will be proud to pull money out of their wallets.”

Though the Apple plan has bipartisan support and appears poised for approval, some critics are suspicious of the terms.

“We just want to be fair,” says Cook. “We’re taking over printing and distribution, and in return we’re only asking for 30% of every cash transaction in America. Same deal as the App Store.”

AppleBucks will be manufactured at Foxconn factories in China. By paying workers with money they’re laboring to print themselves, Apple can pay higher wages without really spending anything.

AppleCare for AppleBucks is available for only $49/year. Owners may have their money ironed free at the Genius Bar to keep it crisp, or exchange damaged bills for fresh currency. Money-laundering will be available via third parties.

Kalamazoo, MI — Rather strike it rich in a courtroom than needlessly expend energy working a real job? There’s an app for that.

LitiGATOR™ makes it easy to initiate a lawsuit against Apple — frivolous or otherwise — and laugh all the way to the bank.

The new app, created by the legal software experts at LawHorse, doesn’t require any legal expertise at all. With nothing more than an iPad, a Wi-Fi connection and a willingness to pursue Apple to the end of the earth, you can litigate with the big boys.

With LitiGATOR™, you can target specific Apple products for violating one thing or another, or you can target Apple itself for its many obvious — and legally provable — sins.

All you have to do is use the simple pop-up menus to select your options. Choose the type of lawsuit, your imagined damages (up to $50 billion) and your willingness to settle out of court with Apple’s evil lawyers. LitiGATOR™ does the rest.

LitiGATOR™ saves time, money and attorney’s fees. You can use it to file lawsuits in any state in the U.S. LitiGATOR Pro™ adds the capabilities of filing your suit in foreign countries or having your payout wired to a foreign bank account.

LitiGATOR™ is available for $2.99 at the App Store, beginning today. According to LawHorse’s PR release, that’s the deal of a lifetime. “If you get a $50 million settlement out of it, you’ll make your investment back over 16.7 million times.”

Cupertino, CA — Where most people see a museum piece, Apple sees a new revenue stream. The Apple II is back, in all its underpowered splendor.

Meet “the new Apple II.” (According to sources, it was almost called the “Apple II 2.”)

As Apple’s press release explains: “The Apple II gave birth to the computer industry. Now it’s pregnant again — this time with unlimited possibilities.”

The new Apple II targets two different demographic groups: those nostalgic for simpler times, and those who still don’t get what memory is.

Remaining true to its original concept, the new Apple II isn’t exactly a speed demon. Hypothetically, its 1MHz processor would take about an hour to download an average web page. But that assumes you could actually connect the new Apple II to the Internet — which you can’t.

In fact, the new Apple II is unabashedly unconnected. With no Wi-Fi, Ethernet and USB ports, there will be nothing to distract you from enjoying the best of Apple II’s two dozen apps, which include a recipe manager and an electronic checkbook.

But this isn’t your father’s Apple II. Despite the retro theme, Apple has added one very handy port that allows the user to connect a turntable or cassette deck. You can’t store music in the computer, but you can use the Apple II box to store up to 150 vinyl albums or 300 cassettes.

No aluminum was harmed in the making of this computer. The new Apple II is big on beige, with industrial-strength plastics that will dominate landfills for centuries to come.

Apple is leaving nothing to chance with the new Apple II, working with partners to seduce customers with a rich ecosystem. Intel is developing an even slower chip to power a newer new-generation Apple II. Adobe, eager to make peace with Apple, will unveil an all-text version of Photoshop.

The new Apple II personal computer will be available on May 14th, starting at $4,995. For only $49, you can get a 2-year AppleCare plan — pre-dated to expire in 1981.

Scoopertino Movie Review

Steve Jobs was impatient, demanding and abrasive — but it was nothing a good nap couldn’t fix.

That’s the takeaway from Tiny Tyrant, a major motion picture debuting Friday, which focuses on Steve Jobs’ early years.

Based on the bestseller, The Boy King: The Making of Steve Jobs by British author Regent Altschiller, this new Steve Jobs biopic zeroes in on the Apple founder’s formative years — when many of his world-changing behaviors were just taking shape.

In the same way it was fun to see Darth Vader grow up in the Star Wars prequels, it’s easy to get drawn into this film.

Steve’s ability to lead is established early in the film, during a play date with three other toddlers. His parents are delighted by his crayon drawings — but they fail to notice that he’s directed the other kids to do the work for him. Watching those kids fume as Steve basks in the limelight is pure cinematic delight.

Encouraged by his parents to set up a lemonade stand on the front lawn, toddler Steve ends up creating a “walled garden” of lemonade stands throughout his neighborhood, taking a 30% cut of all sales.

But most of Tiny Tyrant’s action takes place in nursery school.

Here, little Steve perfects the ability to make other children cry, forcing them to do their finger-painting over and over again until it lives up to his standards.

He terrorizes his teacher, repeatedly telling her that she’s fired. And when she sends him to the nursery school owner to be disciplined, he ends up negotiating a better financial deal for his parents.

Most impressively, little Steve finds a way to poach the smart kids from the adjoining class, swapping them for several of the kids in his own class — the ones he calls “bozos.”

It’s a joy to see a film that finally explores some new territory in the Steve Jobs saga. Thanks to great acting and writing, the young Steve comes across as a cute, fun, energetic kid — with just the right amount of The Omen mixed in.

The movie is rated R, so don’t bring the kids. It contains sexuality (there’s one graphic diaper-changing scene) and “threatened violence.”

Universal Studios sees gold in a series of Steve Jobs movies, and has already green-lighted a prequel to this prequel. The next film, yet untitled, will examine the even earlier life of Steve Jobs — including his conception, gestation and ultimate journey through the birth canal.

Zhengzhou, China — Hundreds of smiling faces greeted Tim Cook on his visit last week to a Foxconn iPhone factory — most of them coming from state-of-the-art incubators.

The highlight of Cook’s factory tour was the “Hatchery,” where thousands of new iPhone workers are being grown.

The Hatchery is Foxconn’s ingenious solution to the problem of underage workers. Though Chinese regulations prohibit bringing in new workers under the age of 16, there is nothing to stop Foxconn from growing its own workers from scratch.

Tim Cook, showing his human side, stopped to tickle the hatchlings and snap photos for his office. He seemed particularly taken by future workers Stevie-1006 through Stevie-1009.

“They’re cute as a button,” he quipped. “An iPhone home button, that is!”

The Fair Labor Association, having previously documented numerous violations at the plant, was generally pleased with the Hatchery concept. FLA president Auret van Heerden said that the hatchlings “appear to be generally well fed and healthy,” though he did express some concern about the cleanliness of feeding tubes.

It is estimated that Foxconn’s Hatchery will produce up to 10,000 fresh workers per year. This won’t solve the factory’s labor problems entirely, but it’s a “good start,” according to a Foxconn spokesperson.

The use of accelerated growth hormones should get hatchlings productive by age 2 — if not on the assembly line, at least taking care of general factory cleanup.

Cupertino, CA — Apparently, selling shiny new devices isn’t enough for Apple. Now it’s muscling into the market for used devices — extremely used devices.

With iSore, Apple offers a new line of iPhones and iPads, “pre-abused” for your convenience: scratched, baked, soaked or even steamrolled.

According to research, 74% of iPhone owners damage their devices within the first 12 months of ownership. Given Apple’s inflated prices, psychological trauma may result.

iSore solves that problem. Now customers can get past that moment of pain before they even open the box.

How exactly does Apple abuse its iSore products? Some techniques are familiar, such as dropping it on a sidewalk or into a toilet. But Apple engineers don’t stop there.

“Your iSore will arrive having been victimized by blowtorch, washing machine, Mack truck, sky dive or over a hundred other damaging circumstances,” says Apple. “And new tortures will be added monthly.”

A special two-year AppleCare extension is available to all iSore customers for only $99. Should you accidentally polish or repair your iSore while covered, Apple will restore it to near-worthlessness at no charge.

Cupertino, CA — Citing a disturbing number of Americans unable to give Apple their money, President Obama took an important step today.

By signing a new bill that classifies iPad as an “essential nutrient,” Obama makes it possible for Apple Stores to accept U.S. food stamps as payment.

Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), co-sponsor of the “No iPad Left Behind Act,” appeared at a joint press conference with Apple CEO Tim Cook this morning.

“Food stamps are meant to provide nourishment,” said Pelosi, “and iPads provide nourishment for the mind.”

At the signing, President Obama spoke of the achievement. “Never again will anyone to have to choose between an iPad and such necessities such as food, clothing and shelter,” he said. “Now it’s a simple choice between an iPad and food.”

Some critics have already complained that turning food stamps into iPads defeats the whole purpose of food stamps.

“Hogwash,” said Pelosi. “Some children may miss a few meals, but net-net everyone will be a lot happier.”

Under Apple’s terms, six months’ worth of food stamps for a family of four may be redeemed for a 16GB Wi-Fi iPad 2 (refurbished).

iPads purchased under the food stamp program will be shipped in special edible boxes made of dehydrated cornstarch and potato flour, designed to help stretch a family’s food budget.

Cupertino, CA — Apple started a revolution by signing the major music companies. Now it’s re-igniting the revolution by throwing them out.

Blame it on Siri.

Tim Cook and his executive team had been toying with creative ways to tighten Apple’s stranglehold on the world music market — but the light bulb went on the moment Tim learned that Siri could carry a tune.

The plan is simple: cut out the music companies and re-record the songs — all 12 million of them — with Siri on vocals.

“We have every intention of paying for the music rights,” explained Cook. “We just don’t see the need to pay the performers and middle men.”

In a series of intensive tests, Apple engineers discovered that Siri has extraordinary range. Says one coder on the Siri team, “We knew she’d be a natural for classic rock and country, but she kills in hip-hop and gospel.”

Cook also believes that with Siri, people will love their music collection even more. “Honestly, can you understand what Hendrix is saying? Siri nails the words every time, clear as a bell.”

In an industry where contracts can typically run over a hundred pages, Apple’s contract with Siri is refreshingly simple. Siri will sing as directed for only “a daily battery charge and regular screen wipes with a microfiber cloth.”

Music industry experts estimate that Apple’s new approach to music will save hundreds of millions of dollars annually. But will consumers buy it?

Producer Tom Corwin is a believer. “I just came from a recording session of Siri singing Mr. Tambourine Man, and I couldn’t hold back the tears. She not only put more emotion into it than Bob [Dylan], she could direct me to the nearest Starbucks without missing a beat.”

For those who missed our live coverage of Wednesday’s iPad event, here is a transcript:

9:22AM Hi everyone. Roland Greenfellow here again for Scoopertino. Thanks for joining us for our live coverage of the iPad 3 event. I’ve just arrived at the Yerba Buena center. Give me a second to pay off Apple’s security team.

9:39AM Lots of excitement on the street. But I have to admit, I don’t get the whole llama thing.

9:49AM The security guy just slipped me my badge. Wish it could have been more subtle.

10:01AM Tim Cook walks onto the stage! Looking good, air of confidence.

9:02AM Tim’s doing the update. More Apple Stores, selling tons of products, ruling Wall Street, blah blah.

9:03AM Tim: “The bottom line, and the one thing everyone should remember — we’re obscenely rich.”

9:04AM Huge “$100 BILLION” graphic on screen. And now … what’s this? Oh lord no. You HAVE to be kidding.

9:05AM No way!!! $5,000 under every seat in the auditorium!!! Damn, I love this company. Tim says he just pissed away $2.5 million to make a point — Apple is so rich, money doesn’t matter. In fact, he’s considering putting $5K in every iPad box, just to get rid of some of it.

9:21AM Now a sober moment about factory conditions in China. Apple takes these things seriously. Starting today, Apple’s HappyApp is free for all Chinese factory workers.

9:15AM On with the show. Tim is proud because he personally came up with the theme that will run throughout today’s presentation.

10:03AM Damn, I fell asleep. Sorry. I think I missed a bunch of stuff about the new iPad. Higher-res screen, faster processor, yada, yada. You can see that online.

10:05AM Some developers just shared their new games. Pretty cool. Last presenter … RUSH LIMBAUGH??

10:06AM Rush has developed a brand new app: Slut Detector HD. Totally amazing. Using an algorithm only Rush can understand, it scans your entire iPhoto library to indicate which of your friends might use birth control or act in other unsavory ways.

10:08AM Guess that’s it. Tim is wrapping things up now.

10:09AM OMG hold on! Tim says “One more thing”!!!

10:06AM The new iPad isn’t the only news. He says some people have been asking for a smaller model. Will this be the 7-incher??

10:07AM Guess not. “Screw them,” he says. When others zig, Apple zags. Something’s moving in from off stage…

10:09AM Holy cow! It’s a monster! It’s called iPad Pro. The screen measures 4.3 feet and it takes two people to carry it. Ships with two free sets of moving straps.

10:15AM One cool app for iPad Pro: DanceMat — you actually dance on the screen. Also a hardware option called iCrane — a hydraulic lift for moving iPad Pro in and out of a car.

10:22AM Okay, that must be it. Tim is wrapping up again. But wait. Looks like one more “one more thing.” They’re setting up for a musical number to end the show.

10:23AM Oh wait. It’s not just music. It’s music and dance — featuring Tim and Phil. Chicken Dance! Steve Jobs was right — the talent in this company is incredibly deep.

10:36AM Show’s over. I’ll tell you, that last number really drained the audience.

Thanks for following the event with me today. Signing off from Yerba Buena Center. See you at the next Apple event.

Cupertino, CA — Good news, Munchkins.

A new version of OS X is coming soon — designed especially for those who suffer a fear of upgrading.

OS X Cowardly Lion makes it easy to put your entire system at risk, integrating 200+ visual and verbal cues from MGM’s classic The Wizard of Oz.

“Cowardly Lion is all about courage,” says Craig Federighi, Apple’s vice president of Mac Software Engineering. “The courage to hit the Buy button.”

Among the confidence-building features built into Cowardly Lion:

• Modernized cursor. Out with the arrow, in with a ruby slipper.
• Yellow-brick iCal and Address Book themes. No more faux leather.
• Glenda Intelligent Assistant. Basically just Siri, but with a better name.
• Safari “Go Home.” Click the mouse three times and say “There’s no place like Home Page.”
• Wizard Mode. “Pull the curtain” on any screen to reveal the UNIX code beneath.

With potential feline monikers nearly depleted, Cowardly Lion couldn’t come at a better time. It allows Apple to make a seamless transition from cat names to Oz-based names. Sources say that the next three versions of OS X are already mapped out: OS X Scarecrow, OS X Wicked Witch and OS X Flying Monkey.

Cowardly Lion will be available as a $29 download from the App Store. The 5-user Munchkin Pack is only $79.